New Mom Essentials (baby edition)

Hey y'all!

So today I am writing the first of a two-part blog post all about new mom essentials! This post will be about baby items that I have found helpful during the first three months. While these things worked for me and Porter, they may not work for everyone. Hopefully it can give you a place to start though!

1. Halo Sleepsack

Porter has slept in a sleepsack since the day we brought him home from the hospital. Not all babies like to be swaddled, but it really comforts P. He will usually fight it and squirms at first, but once he's all wrapped up and I start rocking him he immediately calms down. When he's not swaddled and falls asleep, he often wakes himself up with his arms. Darn reflexes. Those little arms will go all over the place if not wrapped up and then he won't stay asleep. He's approaching 3 months and getting close to being ready to roll over so we are going to transition him out of the swaddle soon...I'm nervous though! I've already started leaving one arm out. We are also going to try the Magic Merlin Sleep Suit. Anyone have advice on transitioning out of the swaddle???

2. Ergo Baby Carrier

This thing is amazing. Make sure you get the infant insert though so you can use it right away. Porter falls asleep almost immediately when I "wear" him in the Ergo. It's the only way we can go shopping or on walks because P is not a huge fan of his stroller unless its a bumpy road ;) Love love love my Ergo.

3. Noodle and Boo Newborn Shampoo/Body Wash

Oh my sweet goodness does this stuff smell (and work!) amazing!!! It is the essential newborn baby smell and it makes Porter's skin and hair so soft and yummy. Porter loves bath time and this stuff makes it such a calming and positive experience. I also have the lotion. They say babies don't need lotion but I use it from time to time for baby massage or if he has any little dry patches. Plus Matt started using it on his hands because he likes the way it smells and it reminds him of P! So sweet.

4. Gripe Water

If you have a colicky or gassy baby, gripe water will be your BFF. It helps soothe little tummies and you can give it to your babe up to 6 times a day. I think it made a difference, but even more helpful is that it tastes sweet and babies love sweet stuff. It would always calm P down. It also helped to give him a little bit before feeding to help him latch on the bottle!

5. Aiden and Anais Swaddle Blankets

I use these for everything. I think I have 6 of them and would recommend at least that many!

6. Bouncer

No that Porter is a bit bigger and fits in the bouncer, it has become a lifesaver! I plop him in there while I make breakfast/get ready/go to the bathroom, etc. It vibrates which P loves and is light weight so if I need to pick him up in it and move it to the next room I can.

7. Rock n Play Sleeper

This has been the only way that Porter will nap for longer than 20 minutes! Again, it vibrates which helps soothe him back to sleep. It also has a really cozy liner so he is nice and snuggled up in there. Love this thing.

8. Baby Shusher App

If you've read Happiest Baby on the Block, you know that one of the suggestions for colicky or upset newborns is to "shush" them. That really helped calm Porter down, but if we stopped shushing, he woudl get upset again. All that shushing can get tiring so we used this app that is literally just the sound of someone shushing. Its great. I would even turn it on (I think it goes for like an hour or so?) and leave it by the bassinet once I put Porter down. I don't use it anymore, but in the beginning it was really helpful.

9. Milk Snob Cover

I love this carseat cover. It protects little man from wind, sun, nosey strangers, etc. Plus it matches my JuJuBe diaper bag which I love.

Those are some of the items that have been lifesavers for me! What baby items have you found helpful? Anything you would recommend for a 3-6 month old since that is the next stage for our little guy? Thanks so much!!

My Struggle to Feed My Son

Hey y'all!

I received so much positive feedback and support from my last blog post about month one as a momma. THANK YOU! I was really nervous to post because there is that fear that you are all alone in your experiences and silently failing as a mom. Come to find out, so many other mommas have had similar experiences so thank you for sharing that with me.

Today I thought I would talk about the ongoing struggle that has been feeding Porter. I mentioned in the last post that I had a difficult time breastfeeding. Porter was unable to pull out enough milk and he lost a scary amount of weight. We began supplementing with formula and I pumped after each feeding. P got back up to his birth weight and continued to climb, but it was a major challenge. So many feedings consisted of me in tears trying to get him latch. Initially, we supplemented by using a finger feeding method. Essentially, you tape a tiny tube to your finger that is attached to a container of breast milk/formula, then put your finger in the baby's mouth and they suck the milk through the tube. While this worked, it takes foreverrrrrr. We would be up for 2 hours with each middle of the night feeding because it took a long time to breastfeed, a longer time to finger feed, and a good 45 minutes or so to get him back to sleep. Around the second week, Porter started to refuse my boob. He would pull away and cry and refuse to eat. As a result, we introduced a bottle. I started pumping exclusively and feeding him a combination of formula and breastmilk. Porter was able to eat from the bottle but was very messy. So messy that we had to change his outfit after each feeding (even while using a bib! And let me tell you, we've tried every bib out there too. I'll list my favorite at the end of this post). But, I didn't mind the mess because my boy was eating and gaining weight. He had been a pretty gassy baby from the start. We did a lot of "bicycle legs" and other leg movements, tummy massage, plus constant bouncing to help him move things along in his tummy. We started using the Dr. Brown's bottles because they reduce the air intake. Things suddenly went downhill 24 hours after his 6 week shots. Porter started to scream every time I would feed him and would refuse to eat. It was a battle to get him to take in even a few ounces. We saw our pediatrician who thought it might be a milk allergy. We put P strictly on Nutramigen (formula) and I continued to pump and save my breastmilk in case we could go back to using it. However, I found that with Matt back at work I had very little time to pump and my supply was rapidly going away. We noticed that the formula had greatly reduced his gas so we decided to switch to exclusively feeding formula. Unfortunately this did not help with the feeding issue. We then started on reflux medicine, although he didn't have any other symptoms (such as excess spit up). After a week, still no improvement. We went to a lactation consultant who thought P might be tongue tied and noticed he had a difficult time sucking and latching at the bottle (which is the problem we had with breastfeeding). We took him to a pediatric ENT. Although she said it was neither the worst nor the mildest case of tongue tie she's seen, she recommended we go ahead and have his frenulum cut to fix the tongue tie. Y'all that little procedure just about broke my heart. Matt held our sweet P while they did it and I stood in the hallway and cried. Hearing his cries made me feel physical pain my chest. Fortunately, the bleeding stops quickly and as soon as it was over I held my boy and he fell asleep. It has been over a week since the procedure and we have seen a lot of improvement! In fact, for the fist few days I thought things were completely fixed. However, the last several days have consisted of some more challenging feedings again. We are seeing the pediatrician weekly for weight checks and are continuing to explore more options on what we can do to help our little man. It is so hard as a mom because most babies enjoy eating and find comfort in that. It can also be a great bonding experience for mom and babe. Porter gets worked up and upset when eating plus it doesn't make him drowsy. I also have this fear that he will associate negative eating experiences (and stress) with me since I am the only one who feeds him. I am constantly reminding myself that he knows my love for him and the rest of our time together is full of snuggles, giggles, songs, and chats. We have an appointment to see an OT to help P work on getting a stronger suck. Right now, I pinch his little cheeks together to help him. Has anyone out there had any similar experiences? Please let me know if anything worked for you!

I would also like to talk for a minute about formula feeding. There is so much support out there for breastfeeding moms (especially where I live), but very little available for formula feeding moms. Formula feeding is challenging. I can't just pull P out of his bassinet and feed him in the night. I have to get up and make a bottle. It is a guessing game whether he is full or still hungry because I am the one deciding how much goes in his bottle. I have anxiety about feeding him in public (#1 because he still gets upset during feedings sometimes) because I worry about others judging my decision to use formula. Plus I need to make sure I always have a bottle prepped in the diaper bag. The "breast is best" notion of course makes sense, but it can be hurtful because not all women are able to breastfeed and they should not be made to feel that they are not giving their child the best. As moms, we are already under enough stress (not to mention exhaustion and helloooo hormones). We should be building one another up and providing equal support to all moms regardless of how they choose to feed their baby. I know a lot of breastfeeding mommas feel that they get unfriendly stares or comments from strangers when they breastfeed in public, but I feel like I get unfriendly stares for formula bottle feeding. Why can't we just let moms feed their babies however they want to? Ugh!! Ok rant over! Thanks so much for reading and joining me in this journey. Lets rally behind one another and continue to encourage not just mommas but husbands, partners, parents, grandparents, and friends of mommas. It takes a village y'all!

*P.S. If you formula feed your little one and don't know about the Baby Brezza, please go get one as it will change your life. It is like a Keurig for formula! Amazeballs. For real.

Baby Brezza

These Aiden and Anais bibs are my favorite. They are the most absorbent and wash really well. (I tried the burpy bibs by this brand and they are too bulky around the neck for such a little guy.)

These Dr. Brown bottles have been the best for us. They have vent inside that is designed to limit the amount of air that baby takes in while feeding which greatly helps with gassy, colicky, refluxy babes!

My First Month As A Momma

Hi y'all!

So today I thought I would sit down and share a bit about how things have been going so far with our new addition. I'd like to preface this post by saying that I am going to talk about certain challenges and struggles I've had as a new mom. I want to be clear that I am in no way complaining and I am thankful for each and every tear shed and hour of sleep lost because I have been blessed beyond measure with a healthy baby boy.

The First Month

After we brought Porter home from the hospital, we were so lucky to have my mom and both of Matt's parents there to help us adjust to our new life with a baby. They were amazing and would hold P so we could get some rest, they went grocery shopping (many times...I swear we'd never had so much food in our house), they did laundry, cleaned the house, and even prepared an incredible Thanksgiving dinner! So. Freaking. Thankful. Even with all of the help and support, the first few weeks were hard. We really had no idea what we were doing and this tiny little human depended on us for everything. I struggled with baby blues and cried...a lot. Your hormones are all over the place after giving birth and I felt like a failure and a bad mom on a daily basis. Unfortunately for me, the baby blues last longer than usual (typically they last about 2 weeks) and I struggled for almost 5 weeks. Porter would only sleep if he was being held so there were many sleepless nights and I never got out of my pajamas. For real, I never got dressed in the morning and would just put on clean pjs each night. (*One of my biggest tips for new mamas is to buy a lot of cute new pjs before baby comes. You live in them and if they're cute, you at least feel a little bit better about yourself since you don't have time or energy to shower *). I also had a very difficult time breastfeeding. So difficult in fact, that two days after his birth Porter had lost over a pound. It was really devastating because I so badly wanted to breastfeed but Porter had a hard time latching and could not pull out enough milk. I ended up supplementing with formula after each feeding and pumping after each feeding. This process would take over an hour and happened every 2-3 hours. It was manageable because Matt was home from work and could hold P while I pumped, but once he went back to work it was nearly impossible to pump. Speaking of Matt going back to work, wow was that hard. He slept in the guest bedroom (with Winston) so he could actually get some rest so I was up all night taking care of P by myself. It felt very lonely and I spent many nights crying as I rocked my baby to sleep (thanks hormones). The days weren't any easier. I have never felt so exhausted and Porter would not let me put him down. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE holding my boy but I literally didn't eat or pee all day. There were also days were he would be crying hysterically and I would try everything and couldn't figure out what was wrong. Again these feelings of inadequacy would overwhelm me. I would have to bounce/swing/sing/shh Porter for an hour or more to get him to sleep sometimes and was I physically and emotionally exhausted every day. Matt would get home and I would hand him off to get a quick shower and I usually brought a glass of wine in there with me. After that, I did it all over again throughout the night. Our saving grace was definitely the meals that were provided by my amazing teacher friends. I seriously don't think we would've eaten if if hadn't been for them. Y'all, support in the beginning is EVERYTHING. With our family so far away, having a meal train was so incredible. Huge shout out to my Bacich friends, the Rooneys, and our landlords for giving us the gift of food! Feeling overwhelmed and with Christmas right around the corner, we begged my mom to come back and thankfully she did! My momma came back for a week and was here for Christmas. While she was here, so many things changed. We started to figure out tricks to help P fall asleep, learned more of what he liked/disliked, and even snuck off for a date night to celebrate Matt's birthday. Could not be more grateful to my mom for that week. Having her there for Christmas made it actually feel like Christmas! I have so many sweet memories sitting on the couch with her and Porter in the middle of the night with only the light of the Christmas tree. My mom is the greatest and it is SO HARD living so far away from our families. That about wraps up month one. I'll post some Porter pics from his first month of life! This little boy has changed our life for the better and I love him something fierce! 

Again, please know my heart. I love my son with every fiber of my being and I am not complaining. I am simply sharing the struggles of being a new mom. I follow so many mom bloggers on instagram and their lives are perfect and their babies are perfect and sleep through the night at one month and never cry and pose for pictures and blah blah blah. It made me feel so inadequate as a mom and I needed to constantly remind myself that that image is not realistic. Their job is to portray perfection. I am here to be real and share #reallife. I'll be back soon with a recap of month two! I also plan to share my baby essentials for the first few months as well as what I packed in my hospital bag for delivery.

Our Birth Story

Hey y'all!

I am so excited to share our birth story with you! Our precious boy turned 2 months old today and it has been a wonderful blur of joy, love, stress, and exhaustion. I hope to get back to blogging soon but for now I am just taking one day at a time. Loving this new adventure of mommy-hood and am completely smitten with my little man! Porter Hayes you are perfect!!!

Our Birth Story - Porter Hayes Lakin

As many of you know, I was working full time as a second grade teacher this fall. I was very blessed to have a job share with another teacher so that when Porter arrived, I would be done for the rest of the year. I had originally planned to work up until my due date (November 18th). Everyone (including my OB) said that I would likely have him late and I was feeling really good. However, as that date grew closer I decided it would be best to stop teaching that week so that I could have some time to rest before the marathon that is labor and delivery. That Monday (Nov. 14) was very relaxing and I made plans for the rest of the week (nail appointment, grocery shopping, freezer meal prep, laundry, cleaning, ya know all the things you need to get done before baby arrives...). Matt and I went to Outback for dinner because I was craving steak :) We went to bed around 10pm and I was relaxed and ready for a busy week of "nesting". Our little man had other plans...At around 1:00am I woke up with stomach pains. I sat up in bed and it went away. A few minutes later it happened again. I got out of bed to see if it continued. I turned on the Hallmark Channel (duh) and quickly realized that these pains were happening about every 6-8 minutes. After a half hour I woke up Matt and told him that I thought I was in labor. We began timing contractions and they got closer and closer together. By 4:00am they were 3-4 minutes apart and much more intense. Matt called the hospital and they told us to come in. I protested because everyone I know was in labor for days so it couldn't be happening this fast. Fortunately Matt convinced me otherwise and we got to the hospital around 5:00am. We got checked in and the nurse informed me that I was dilated to 7 cm. I couldn't believe it! I was actually really proud of myself because I don't handle pain well and I was doing pretty good for being at 7 cm. I immediately let the nurse know that I wanted an epidural, asap! I was taken straight to the delivery room and they got the epidural going. It was awesome. I didn't feel a thing but could see the contractions happening on the monitor. They told us to get some rest while I "labored down" for a little bit. After an hour it became very apparent that I could feel the contractions again. It got worse, and worse, and they finally gave me a "topper" that was supposed to numb me up again. Here's the biggest surprise of our birth story, the epidural had officially stopped working! If you have had a natural childbirth, you get it. If not, y'all it hurts so bad!!!!!!!!! Once you transition, contractions are so painful. Then they had me start pushing. It felt so unnatural and hurt so bad. I was like one of the women you see in the movies screaming/moaning as I pushed. Fortunately, it didn't take too long. After about 45 minutes of pushing, our sweet boy made is arrival into the world! The nurse started telling me "look down!" and I actually got to seem him emerge! It was so crazy. When they placed him on my chest it was the most surreal feeling in the world. He was so perfect and beautiful and I was overwhelmed with emotions. Then that feeling quickly turned to pain as the doctor began to stitch me up. Ouch! Porter remained on my chest for over an hour before they weighed and measured him. He was 7 lbs. 13 oz. and 20 inches long. We later learned that the reason my epidural didn't take was because Porter's head was so low that it literally blocked the liquid from where it needed to go to numb me. The initial injection only lasts an hour and then a drip kicks in. By the time the initial injection wore off, the drip wasn't able to do its job. From my first contraction to getting to hold my baby boy took around 8 hours. The doctors joked that I should be prepared to have my next baby in the car because it happened so fast. It was a crazy whirlwind and unfortunately we had a few bumps in the road after that with Porter's eating and weight loss. That is a story for another time. At the end of the day, we brought a beautiful baby boy into the world at 9:27am on November 15, 2016. He is our whole world and we could not feel more blessed to be his parents!

Thank you so much for reading! I know it was a long post but I wanted to write down as many details as possible so I don't forget :) I hope to get back to regular posting including lots of mommy posts! (I already have so many ideas!!) but for now, my focus is on my sweet boy. Hope you're 2017 is off to a great start!

Maternity Photos

Hi y'all!

I am SO excited to share our maternity photos! We used Lindsey Tatum Photography and are so pleased with how they turned out. Can't wait for Lindsey to shoot newborn photos once Porter is here!!!

I loved this dress from Sew Trendy Accessories. I was so soft and well-made. They make custom dresses and have tons of styles and colors to choose from. I of course went with BLUE for our little man :) I love how the dress has a split so you can do some belly photos, but can easily hold it closed. And I look for any excused to wear a flower crown! This one is also by Sew Trendy Accessories. I am so happy I will have these photos to remember how my body changed and was home for our growing miracle!

Details:

Dress is Sew Trendy Accessories / Flower Crown is Sew Trendy Accessories / Lipstick is MAC "Ruby Woo" / Photos by Lindsey Tatum Photography

Let's Catch Up!

Hi y'all!

These last few months have been crazy! I have been teaching second grade full time, fulfilling my 80 hour internship requirement for grad school, creating my grad school practicum project and defense of degree presentation, all while in my third trimester of pregnancy! Crazy. So thankful for my husband and support system for getting me through. Yesterday was my last day of teaching and all of my grad work has been submitted so we are officially on baby watch! I am 39 weeks pregnant today so our sweet boy is full term and we can not wait to meet him! I thought I would take this time to update you on things before the next round of wonderful craziness in our lives begins. 

I thought I would share a post about our baby showers. Our family was so blessed to have two amazing baby showers back home, one in Oklahoma and one in Texas. We were overwhelmed with love and the sweetest gifts for P! 

First up, our Texas shower. This precious "bowtie" themed shower was thrown by my darling friends Alicia, Lacy, Polly, Jessi, Phoebe, and my mother in law Amy. It was at Polly's house and was such a special afternoon! 

Best part of my shower was these two friends telling me they are pregnant too!!! Can not wait for our littles to meet :)

Our second shower was in Oklahoma and was thrown by my mom's amazing friends Amy, Susan, Becky, Nancy, and Jayne. It was so wonderful getting to see childhood, college, and teacher friends! This was a "woodland animal" themed shower, too sweet!

*Both of my dresses are from JCrew (not maternity)

I hope you enjoyed this little peak into our very special weekend celebrating a very special little boy! Now we're just waiting for him to make his arrival!